Standing in the middle of a dark bleakness that blows around you, the blackness is impenetrable. No matter how fast you move it feels like you aren't moving at all. Street lights go out and power goes down. You are being pelted with ice cold shards that sting your eyes and cause you to go blind. You can't see in front of you, so you stumble through the black trying to find what is up or down.
Today I am trying to be the mittens for the lost soul's hands. Holding them to keep them warm, protecting from the snow that stings. But even mittens have holes. I'm struggling to be what everyone needs right now. Tomorrow I will wake up and there will be a blanket of snow on the world. Blankets are supposed to be warm and inviting. Snow just covers us with cold and leaves an awful glare in our eyes. Like a blizzard, this blog makes no sense. Nothing in my head makes any sense. Situations in my life make no sense. Things that happen to good people make no sense.
A blizzard is the sky lashing out and sending all its pent up crap down on the world. Weather here goes from zero to one hundred in half an hour. Life goes from manageable to unruly in a split second. Bananas turn black and friendships turn stale if we don't enjoy them while they are ripe. Why do we cause car crashes just to feel the sting of something real? And when we get hit we wish we would never feel anything again.
Despite this depressing, confusing and incoherent blog, it was written in a twisted way, in the spirit of optimism. While the gray of others lives wipes off on me like graphite from an angry drawing to my clothing, I have used it to see how bright my clothes are. It seems selfish that the pain of others has somehow made my life better. In a backwards way it makes me feel worse. Why should I benefit from their pain? I just want to take it all away. Blow my hot breath on this world until the snow melts. Or move to California and escape it all.
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